funny review by Anthony in Home & Kitchen, 2016-05-29
Honeywell HT-900 TurboForce Fan
let me start off by saying this: Before this fan I was sweating enough to get us out of the California drought. With this fan now I am cool as a cucumber I have not drippity drop dropped a single sweat in my room ever since I plopped this puppy on my desk.
BUT..I cannot talk into the fan and distort my voice which really let down my inner 6 year old self.
Still 5 stars, but for those of you looking to distort your voice by speaking into your new beloved table fan, look elsewhere. If the above doesn't apply to you stop reading this nonsense and buy the thing already! more
fun review by Amazon Customer in Computers & Accessories, 2016-03-08
Super Talent 32GB Micro SDHC Memory Card w/ Adapter, Retail
Coming in at nearly $50,000, this 32 GB Micro SD card changed my life. Before buying this, I had a normal, boring life. Just a family, a house, a 9-to-5 job, a nice car. My phone's storage was never on my mind. After my purchase, I have lost my job, my car, my house, and even my family left me. The bank is after me for all my payments. I live and breathe and sleep with this card in phone by my side, even though I no longer have service on it.
These are 32GB like no other. They will change your life. more
hilarious review by MrDrCol in Sports & Outdoors, 2016-02-21
Kryptonite 999492 Black 14mm x 60" (1415) New York Fahgettaboudit Chain and New York Disc Lock
When this sucker showed up, the delivery guy, after putting the forklift away, came back and punched me in the face. I was not upset as I had just tried to pick the box up and realized I had put his life in danger by ordering this burley, tough, heavy bastard.
The first time I took it out, slung over my shoulder like one of those huge automatic weapons slung by our favorite action movie stars, I inflicted $26,000.00 in damages to the bicycle rack I locked my bike to. When the police showed up to investigate the massive damages to the otherwise innocent rack, I merely swung the chain over my head and they made me their leader out of fear, and awe. And they were right.
Two days later, I came out of a coffee shop to a disturbing scene: A craven thief had seen my bad-ass bike and tried to break this behemoth in order to steal it: he simply exploded. Needless to say, I had to find a hose to clean the 150-plus pounds of meat... more
witty review by Adam in Computers & Accessories, 2016-02-16
HyperX Cloud II Gaming Headset for PC & PS4 - Gun Metal (KHX-HSCP-GM) So, not so funny story: Someone in the apartment unit above us got STABBED. According to the cop who interviewed us, the attacker rang the upstairs doorbell, and when the guy answered the attacker forced his way in and stabbed the guy. You want to know what scary part is? I didn't hear a thing, thanks to my amazing HyperX Cloud 2 headphones. I got them on Amazon for $99.99 (free shipping). These things work as advertised! Probably the best noise cancelling headphones I've ever owned. 10/10 would buy again. more
funny review by Mike Smith in Kitchen & Dining, 2016-01-20
Wilton 418-1703 Round Star Icing Tip Set, Large WARNING: These do NOT make good party hats for hamsters. They kept falling off. Snickers had to tell Tulip she wasn't invited to the party instead of giving hats to all the other hamsters and passive aggressively letting her figure it out on her own. Awkward. more
fun review by xenophilia in Toys & Games, 2015-08-07
Appa Plush 18"
This toy is amazingly fluffy. Like, so fluffy you could die. UNFATHOMABLY FLUFFY, IS ALL I'M SAYING. But everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
He does not respond to basic commands and has shown no propensity to flight, not even when told "yip yip". He isn't eating his food and can't swim. Due to his inability to perform such basic flying air bison functions, I dunno if it's worth spending more than $20 on.
UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE AVATAR. OMG AVATAR. more
amusing review by ashertopia in Books, 2015-07-21
Tic Tac Tome the Autonomous Tic-tac-toe-playing Book
Note: this review is from the republished version of the same name by Willy Yonkers, Quirkbooks, June 2010.
A book that can beat you at Tic-Tac-Toe? Thats what the author says anyway. If the book is really that good, I must be the best Tic-Tac-Toe player ever.
This is a massive book. About 3-4 inches thick (and only 4×4 in size) with like a thousand pages. Whats interesting is that this could be an app with maybe 40-50 kb worth of data. Its big but really simple. You choose where you want to place your mark (O or X) and turn to the designated page. On that page youll see your mark and also the books next move. Repeat. Repeat. Cats game. Pretty much every time.
Thats the bummer thing about this book (and this... more
Tic Tac Tome the Autonomous Tic-tac-toe-playing Book This is enjoyable. I've beaten it once, and I think it's because the book lets you win. more
funny review by Eli Lopez in Amazon Instant Video, 2015-03-09
Cool Cat Saves the Kids Clearly Cool Cat is meant to represent this generation of children, they're all in pacts and act how society wants them to act: exactly alike showing no difference in personality. I think the bully represents the one being who rebells against society, he's trying to tell Cool Cat "why? why do you act the same? Can't you see we're all falling for life's game?" him destroying the sandcastle is shattering Cool Cat's psyche, Cool Cat is now confused asking himself "was he right? Am I just another pawn?" Vivica A. Fox and Erik Estrada are most likely the antagonists of this film "people use to pick on me, and than I learned how to react" is the Vivica saying "you must eliminate all individual thought and mind from yourself, learn how to be the average child going through adolescence, just as I have!" the reason why the bully's accent is so hard to understand is because we're seeing the events through Cool Cat's eyes, because... more
fun review by Char Aznable in Video Games, 2015-02-16
Nintendo - New 3DS XL Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask Limited Edition - Gold/Black
Here we can see the infamous Scalper in its native habitat. It is quite a horrid creature. It is quite similar to that of the homosapiens. That is because this thing you see before you is in fact an evolution (or de-evolution in this case.). These beasts were in fact human at a time but that time has long gone. Now all that is left is an empty shell with only greed filling its will to live on. Anyways, lets get on to further studying this horrendous creature.
There are some key noticeable differences between a human and a scalper. Notice how the eyes have changed from a natural human eye to a dark pitch black circle. The iris has changed from a circular shape to a sign of currency. The scalpers seen here have dollar shaped irises due to them residing in the United States of America. Another key thing to note here is that they have also developed a hunched back. This is probably due to spending an ample amount of time hunched over computer... more
funny review by Happiest Customer Ever! in Sports & Outdoors, 2015-01-10
Yoga Mat Tulavita.com Orange Non-slip PVC (With Detachable Carry Strap) 1/4 Inch Thick
I didn't feel the need to plan my weekend around This PVC yoga mat.
It began with a noticeable change in the viscosity of my flexibility. Within minutes of starting the movements, my mouth had filled with a thick foamy slime. Though I was in a cool climate controlled room a salty sweat broke out, and I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body threw itself into fight or flight.
The animal noises broadcasting from my pelvis were an ominous warning of the violent acts that were to follow. I shouldered my way into the bathroom, clawing at my belt, moaning with pain. The smell came first. It started sweet, almost tangy. That was quickly overpowered by a cloying chemical perfume.
The first volley of feces hit the water like soda cans and nickles. The resulting splash drenching my bottom in foul brackish water, but this was quickly becoming the least of my worries.
After another moment, the noises in my core hit a fever pitch and I... more
fun review by 2DayShipping in Toys & Games, 2014-12-27
Brooklyn Peddler 4-Tone Pinewood Train Whistle
You're standing on a steam-filled platform, your dearest love in your arms weeping, swearing she will return to you, swearing time will not erase the love that has grown and that one day, one day she will come back. You close your eyes and embrace - a train whistle blows. You open your eyes, and it turns out you dozed off watching sports center again, and your 5 year old has picked up his 4 tone pinewood train whistle and is blowing for all he's worth.
Dang this thing sounds real. more
hilarious review by Disappointed user in Welcome, 2014-12-19
Bic Crystal Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point, Black Worked fine with my right hand, but when I came to use my left hand my writing came out looking like the work of a complete imbecile. I can only assume Bic have created a right-handed only pen, and would caution left-handers to "try before you buy". more
witty review by Robert Becker in Clothing, 2014-12-08
Dr. Scholl's Careers Men's Dress Crew Solid Black Sock 2 Pair Size 13-15 I like the socks even if they didn't help my foot pain; for that reason I would not purchase any more. more
funny review by Waterman in Health & Personal Care, 2014-12-07
Beard Oil and Conditioner, Fragrance Free, Glass Bottle with Glass Dropper, Gives You a Respectable Beard That Is Healthy Looking, and Kissable Not since I purchased an invincibility serum from a gypsy traveling the Scottish plains on wagon back, have I found a product so true to its word and delivered in the same packaging. I am the proud man mother of a true man's man's beard, the type of beard that could chop down a tree, build a humble mountainside retreat, and use the remainder to fashion canoes for summer camps. This is not a beard belonging to an individual who would somehow find a way to watch this majestic feat unfold ironically and from a great distance. My beard requires a product that teeters on the tri-cornered edge between scientific formula, magic potion, and reality. Today, I am proud to announce that I have found such a product. Just two drops of Beard Oil by Leven Rose every morning is all it takes for my beard to remain soft to the touch, lush, knotless, and healthy throughout the day. I am also a big fan of how it does not carry the scent of a tropical... more
fun review by Paul Austin Ardoin in Books, 2014-12-04
My Parents Open Carry
There is a war raging in the United States. Those who are opposed argue that using it implies a lack of seriousness, a lack of education, and a flouting of social mores. Those who love it are more rabid about its appropriateness in all situations, wanting to show it off in restaurants, coffee shops, and even the library. Whether it's used at work to passive-aggressively tell a co-worker to stop eating your leftovers or it's used in the neighborhood to generate interest so the kids will come to a birthday party, those on the pro side completely ignore study after study that scientifically show that its use just isn't a good idea.
Am I talking about using a gun? No. I'm talking about using Comic Sans. This book is typeset in COMIC SANS.... more
funny review by Savvy Cook in Books, 2014-11-30
Cooking with Poo
I have always been a fan of recycling and helping the environment as well as saving a few dollars, so when I learned about cooking with poo I knew I was onto a real winner! The recipes are simple yet delicious but my best tip is that it really helps to choose tasty ingredients the night before. Unfortunately my wife is not so enamoured with my choice of ingredients, claiming that she finds sweet corn and tomato skins distracting and prefers to prepare her own, one day I dream of cooking with poo together.
Reduce, reuse, recycle. more