funny review by J. Rife "Reviewer" in Beauty, 2014-02-08
Suave Naturals Refreshing Waterfall Mist Conditioner, 12 Ounce Awesome price for the quality, this is true with all Suave Shampoos and conditioners. I put a small amount of this conditioner in my hair and lather it in real good. Wait 30 to 60 seconds rinse and my hair is so soft. When I smell the fragrance of Waterfall mist it takes me off to another place Man. I can see this beautiful rainforest type of place in my mind it's almost like another World it's paradise. The temperature is perfect here and I'm bathing under a waterfall with beautiful scenery all around me, flowers, birds chirping, I'm next to a small mountain providing the hot tub like nature made pond I'm relaxing in just enough shade to make it perfect in every way. Then out of nowhere this beautiful long haired brunette that's petite with little perky boobies and the nicest ass crack Ive ever seen. She gets in the pond and swims... more
fun review by G. Barry "gtbarry" in Cell Phones & Accessories, 2014-02-08
[Non-Slip] SPIGEN Google Nexus 5 Case Slim [Ultra Fit] [Smooth Black] Premium SF Coated Matte Hard Case for Nexus 5 - Smooth Black
I like my Nexus 5, but it has its quarks. Specifically, the design lacks symmetry. Overall, it seemed kind of unstable and couldn't hold a charge. Honestly, I kept having a nagging suspicion that my Nexus 5 had no mass.
I tried many methods to fix this. Most often, I would collide my Nexus 5 at high speeds with another Nexus 5 and study the results while sitting on my large Henredon couch. In the end, I felt like I was left standing alone in an empty field.
That is, until I discovered the SPIGEN Google Nexus 5 Case Slim Premium Protective Cases for Nexus 5! Discovering this case was both monumental and nobel. It has validated my mobile phone model and is a quantum leap over other cases. Now my Nexus 5 is both tangible and matters.
hilarious review by Hermaphlodon in Kindle Store, 2014-02-08
Taken by the T-Rex (Dinosaur Erotica) It is very uncommon to find accurate depictions of dinosaur on woman sex. If, like me, you have found it increasingly difficult to satisfy your need to recount old times, then this literary masterpiece is for you. No other author has truly been able to both arouse and entice my intense desire to mate with a T-Rex as accurately and successfully as Christie Sims. I would not be surprised if this book outsells the Bible and brings about a new age of literary enlightenment. more
witty review by Zachary Wilson "pretentious hack" in Camera & Photo, 2014-02-08
Hasselblad H3D-39II, Medium Format Digital SLR Camera with 39mp Sensor & 3" LCD Display. I purchased this camera in lieu of paying rent on my apartment for 4 years, and believe me when I say it was worth it. I used the box that it came in as a hat and some other boxes for a home. It's uncomfortable but the pictures I've taken of my new home are so sharp that you can see the fleas on the brick I use for a pillow. I can also take high detail pictures of my children (who I am no longer able to see due to court order resulting from gross negligence) from an acceptable distance. Highly recommended! more
funny review by Brett Turley "brett_turley" in Camera & Photo, 2014-02-08
Sigma 200-500mm f/2.8 APO EX DG Ultra-Telephoto Zoom Lens for Nikon DSLR Cameras Well, I finally decided to spring for the Sigma 200-500 f/2.8. For under $30,000 I couldn't pass up the deal. I know, carrying a 37lb lens around may seem like a chore, but the savings in gas to drive to photo shoots more than compensates for it. I actually do most of my Florida and Georgia area outdoor wedding and landscape shoots from my rooftop now. The IQ is tack-sharp even wide open at 1000mm (w/ 2x converter, obviously) The issue I had, was when the FBI and Homeland security showed up at my house. I was shooting a wedding in downtown Orlando, which is only about 30 miles away, from my roof. The house was surrounded and guns drawn on me. You see, I live near enough to a major airport that the neighbors mistook it's green color and imposing size as some... more
fun review by Travis Hayes in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Namiki Emperor Rabbit In Moonlight Fountain Pen
From the calm, soothing enameled finish to the virgin cardboard used in the FedEx packaging, everything about this pen exudes quality.
The first time I grasped this pen I felt a deep connection to something greater than myself, transcending space and time.
Was it the pure elemental energy of the rhodium tip? The ancient life force of the majestic oak from which the charcoal was made? Or the perfect synergy of both the raw materials and the Qi of the master craftsmen who forged this instrument, willing a work of art into existence?
As I wrote the check to the payday loan office, it was not from me that the words "do not cash until"... more
amusing review by Hamilton Richardson in Books, 2014-02-08
Mr. Strong (Mr. Men and Little Miss)
What a triumph it is, this Nietzschean parable of the Superman. Mr Strong's very being brims with the Will To Power, for which his physical strength is not a delicate metaphor. He hammers a nail into walls with his finger, he ties a knot in an iron bar.
Furthermore, he manifests this sheer force and charisma often quite despite himself. He tears a door off its hinges totally by accident, and barely notices as a bus is written off in collision with him. The symbolism of both of these events is important. The incident with the door makes explicit that it is the world around Mr Strong that must change - not he - however violent this birth of the new. It is equally significant that Mr Strong's own inattentiveness to road safety causes the crash - he cannot help but exist above the social rules that govern the majority, beyond Good and Evil.
This is not to say that Mr Strong ever uses his innate... more
clever review by Hamilton Richardson in Books, 2014-02-08
Mr. Tickle (Mr. Men and Little Miss)
Hargreaves' first work, and regarded by many as his masterpiece, Mr Tickle is something of a rarity amongst the Mr Men books. Elsewhere, we see much exposition on the pitfalls of excess - such as in Mr Greedy and Mr Messy, for instance - but a distinct lack of discourse on personalities that are over- rather than under-regulated. A case in point might be another work, Mr Fussy, which stands out as an opportunity glaringly missed. Despite a faintly ridiculing tone to the prose, this is essentially a lamentation on how others cannot live up to the high ideals and perfectionism of its titular central character. It is at best an ambiguous critique of repression, and Mr Fussy escapes the moral judgment so often dished out to others in the series.
So what a glorious anomaly we find in Mr Tickle - a breath of fresh air from the unrestrained id. The all-consuming sensual delight he offers relentlessly disrupts the social order. A postman drops all his letters... more
funny review by neilathotep in Books, 2014-02-08
Mr. Tickle (Mr. Men and Little Miss) Back in college I got a job as a summer janitor at the local elementary school. One of the things I had to do was clean up in the library. I took this time as an opportunity to catch up on some reading... in the form of the Mr. Men series. Mr. Tickle is a great book about a man who likes to tickle. If you like to laugh, this book is for you. If you like to tickle, this book is for you. If you are a mean spirited and grumpy person, perhaps you should try another book more
fun review by Edgar in Grocery & Gourmet Food, 2014-02-08
Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.
And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known... more
rofltastic review by Stew Clyde "twitter/stewclyde" in Health & Personal Care, 2014-02-08
Dr. Tung's Products: Stainless Steel Tongue Cleaner
I have been an avid Amazon shopper for years. Never once have I (selfishly) written a review for a product. After purchasing this simple tongue scraper, tonight I am ending that streak.
Before today, my tongue had (unknowingly) never seen the light of day. That's right. For YEARS, my tongue had been a whiteish-covered organ. It was more white-covered than pink. It looked like it had been born permanently stained with streaks of vanilla ice cream (as long as I can remember).
I thought I was just born "different". But deep down, I secretly envied the wet, pink, glistening tongues of others. Over the years and with countless attempts of desperation, I scrubbed and scrubbed my tongue with the fronts and backs of toothbrushes, all to no avail. I resided that I would always be a freak, I would always be the outcast with a white-splotched tongue.
One Size Adult Harry Potter Costume Sorting Hat - Brown
This hat its the best snorting hat
of all harry potter snoting hat take
good care of this snorting hat this
it is the best I recommend this to
you if you dont know whats a
pupuet it is agag made of
cloge you move your hand inside
the cloge bag if you dont know
whats a baby montior it is a
thing that if a baby cry you
hear from the baby montion
so some one says grifindor
slithern herpoof or rifinckle more
Mizuno Women's Wave Rider 16 Running Shoe,Rouge Red/Apple Green/Dark Shadow,7 2A US The next time you have to spend 13 hours on your feet without food, water or bathroom breaks, this is the shoe for you. Guaranteed to outrun patriarchy on race day. more
hilarious review by Mindy in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08
Narwhalicorn "Half Unicorn - Half Narwhal" (Majestic and Bendable) So me and my best friend have a debate going on whether narwhals are real or not. I'm trying to presude her that they are real but she refuses. She says that a narwhal was a mythical creature (cross between a whale and unicorn) and they were made up by the CIA to discourage swimming in the artic. So when i found this i thought it would be the prefect gift for her. Needless to say, she loved it although she still doesnt believe in narwhals T.T more
witty review by Nick Napier in Books, 2014-02-08
Unicorns Are Jerks: a coloring book exposing the cold, hard, sparkly truth I art work in this is hilarious. It's current, and not too "over -the -top" to where it becomes inappropriate for the kids. My 10 year old loved it. more
funny review by C. Boustead in Books, 2014-02-08
Unicorns Are Jerks: a coloring book exposing the cold, hard, sparkly truth This coloring book saved my business. Our firm was on the verge of hiring a unicorn as our new public relations rep. At first, it seemed like a dream come true, what with his magical rainbow mane and shimmering eyes but then after reading this book, we decided to do a little more digging on our potential new hire. I'm so glad we did! This guy turned out to be a notorious ringleader in a human trafficking scandal! Bad news folks! He was using his irresistable horn to lure young children away into a life of depravity and abuse! We owe everything to this important publication. It's really so much more than a coloring book, it's a public... more
fun review by Douglas Curley "Doug Curley" in Books, 2014-02-08
Cookin' with Coolio: 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price
Death ain't nothing but a heartbeat away,
I was living life, do or die, what can I say
I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24
The way things are going I don't know
But then I read this twice, now I'm living in a virus free paradise. more
amusing review by Spanky Bo Jangles "Bo-Bo-Con" in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08
Handerpants Underwear Gloves
How many times have you had the dilemma
of not being able to find a clean pair of
skivvies to fashion your fingerless gloves from?
These underwear gloves by Handerpants
can guarantee you skid-mark free business
every time you need the security of an elastic
banded glove experience. Now get back to work! more
clever review by jh584 in Grocery & Gourmet Food, 2014-02-08
Campbell's Homestyle New England Clam Chowder, 18.8 Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)
These were on epic sale at my local grocery store, so decided to pick up a few figuring that even if it was bad they might come in handy as survival rations when Zombies come. Turns out if the Zombies come this will be better combined with a sock as a bludgeon, rather than food.
The taste wasn't offensive (until after, when it repeated horribly), because there wasn't any. It might as well just have been flour and water with chunks of some Potato/Styrofoam hybrid.
I'll learn to quit giving Campbell's a... more
funny review by George Takei in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08
Schrodinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker
This is the perfect gift to give yourself or a co-worker. Asked a simple yes or no question from the boss, such as "Will the report be done on time?" or "Will you be able to cover the books for me while I'm away?" the box legitimates "yes...and no" answers.
"Hang on, let me consult Schrodinger's Cat Executive Box" for that answer. "Aha! See? It says the answer is both yes, and no. That is, right now, knowing nothing other than your question, the answer could be either yes or no. But when we actually get to that point, we'll know whether it actually was yes, or... more