funny review by Anthony in Home & Kitchen, 2016-05-29
Honeywell HT-900 TurboForce Fan
let me start off by saying this: Before this fan I was sweating enough to get us out of the California drought. With this fan now I am cool as a cucumber I have not drippity drop dropped a single sweat in my room ever since I plopped this puppy on my desk.
BUT..I cannot talk into the fan and distort my voice which really let down my inner 6 year old self.
Still 5 stars, but for those of you looking to distort your voice by speaking into your new beloved table fan, look elsewhere. If the above doesn't apply to you stop reading this nonsense and buy the thing already! more
fun review by Warren Wonka in Home & Kitchen, 2014-04-13
Mott's Original Apple Sauce - Case Pack 90 SKU-PAS678805
Outside, there was chaos. Bombs. Mortars. The sporadic albeit frenzied rattle of automatic gunfire. It was April 14, 2019. The Chinese had invaded. They had established the front-lines. The threat of war was no longer. The war was here. The war was now.
I was assigned to 2nd Marine Division, 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, Alpha Company, 1st Platoon. We were stationed in Queens New York. We had been hit hard, forced to fight with no resupply. That day, my barrack was the basement of an old three-story tenement that smelled of guacamole and cat urine. My weapon was a Remington 870, previously used to target Northeastern Mallards while tucked away in the cozy duck-blinds outside my family's cabin near Sandwich, New Hampshire. But that was another day, another year, another lifetime.
We were warriors. Having spent the last three weeks successfully defending an armory in Flushing, our unit was all but spent. What we needed was... more
hilarious review by Haribo Lector in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-14
Forever Lazy ~ Adult "ONESIE" Loungewear ~ Size: XS/S in BLUE I have completely given up on life and was looking for a garment that fitted my new nihilistic outlook. These were perfect. more
witty review by Leanne in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Multicolor Ocean Wave Light Projector, 12 LED, BLUE, RED, GREEN, MULTICOLOR, MP3 iPhone Speaker LED Night Light, Christmas Gift This product was a hit with my 3 year old son, and with the ability to plug in your ipod, this has made bedtime less of a fight and more of an enjoyable experience. It also helps my husband to stop masturbating so much, as he is mesmerized by the light show and falls asleep too soon. Gone are the nights of my son screaming and my hubby hitting me in the back with his "elbow". I no longer need 2 bottles of wine and nyquil just to have a good nights sleep. more
funny review by Quistis in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Flying Alarm Clock
My boyfriend is a heavy sleeper. I'm sure he could sleep through a skeet shooting exhibition that was being held at the foot of his bed during a Category 5 hurricane that was shredding his house to bits while it was on fire.
This year for Christmas, I purchased him the Flying Alarm Clock and once he set his alarm, he has not been late since. The sound emitted from the speaker on the bottom side of the unit emits an incredibly loud siren once the alarm goes off...that's bad enough to wake the dead. On top of that, the sound of the spinning blade jolts him awake immediately in fear of his life ending. Even if the spinning wheel of hatred atop the unit does not wake him immediately, it plants itself behind his computer desk in his bedroom for impossible retrieval without extensive... more
fun review by Travis Hayes in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Namiki Emperor Rabbit In Moonlight Fountain Pen
From the calm, soothing enameled finish to the virgin cardboard used in the FedEx packaging, everything about this pen exudes quality.
The first time I grasped this pen I felt a deep connection to something greater than myself, transcending space and time.
Was it the pure elemental energy of the rhodium tip? The ancient life force of the majestic oak from which the charcoal was made? Or the perfect synergy of both the raw materials and the Qi of the master craftsmen who forged this instrument, willing a work of art into existence?
As I wrote the check to the payday loan office, it was not from me that the words "do not cash until"... more
amusing review by George Takei in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Deer Rear with Bottle Opener
Deer friends: Looking for the perfect "hunting lodge" accessory? No ifs, ands or butts, this is a staggering find. As any John Doe could tell you, mount this baby on your wall and BAMBI! Instant party.
Now when guests ask me to open their beers, I just say "Go buck yourself." more
clever review by BaronVonAmazon in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Organize It All Chrome Hangers, 8 Hangers Per Pack As a back alley doctor this product did exactly what I planned for it to do. Might want to buy some paper towels things tend to get messy. more
funny review by KungPaoTomato in Home & Kitchen, 2014-02-08
Double Lines Above X Canvas Print / Canvas Art - Artist James Barnes This was painted using the hair of Queen nefertiti and the paint was made from 100% pure Columbian unicorn blood. It glows in the dark, van be seen from space and the blind can see it. It can also be walked into where you will meet the artist himself sitting inside the painting. People need to get their facts straight before judging this piece. more