These do NOT make good party hats for hamsters

funny review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2016-01-20

Funny product Wilton 418-1703 Round Star Icing Tip Set, Large Wilton 418-1703 Round Star Icing Tip Set, Large WARNING: These do NOT make good party hats for hamsters. They kept falling off. Snickers had to tell Tulip she wasn't invited to the party instead of giving hats to all the other hamsters and passive aggressively letting her figure it out on her own. Awkward. more

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More tea and less mana?

fun review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-04-19

Funny product MANATEA Infuser MANATEA Infuser I love the way my manatee looks; I love the very concept, and I love the way she perches on the rim of my teacup, with her loose tea-laden nether regions soaking in the hot water, infusing the teacup with...well, with very little actual tea.

The holes in her silicon trunk are just not holey enough to allow for proper circulation. The only thing that comes close to the disappointed look on my face when I sip what I am hoping will be a freshly brewed cuppa, and taste instead a week mug of almost-nothing (hey, did I mistakenly order the homeopathic tea?), is the forlorn expression on the manatea...
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METRICS?!

hilarious review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-03-05

Funny product Fairly Odd Novelties Glass Skull Decanter, 125ml Fairly Odd Novelties Glass Skull Decanter, 125ml I really don't understand metrics, so this was a little smaller than I imagined it would be. I'd say that it'd hold maybe two glasses worth of wine. Or one really big one. I could've researched all of this myself before purchasing it, but I didn't. I was living on the edge. Winging it on a dream and a prayer. I was willing to just throw money at any old thing that caught my eye, b/c it was CHRISTMAS, and it WASN'T FOR ME, and RENEGADES DON'T CARE ABOUT METRICS.

I looks just like the picture. Do you like the picture? If you hate the picture, then you probably shouldn't buy it, unless it's a gift, then do what you want.

Included with your purchase is a FREE CORK. The cork fits in the hole at the top. I haven't yet filled one of these...
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Really spiced up my night life

witty review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-13

Funny product Forever Lazy Soft Fleece Adult Lounge Wear L/XL Forever Lazy Soft Fleece Adult Lounge Wear L/XL Ever since my wife and I both started wearing the Forever Lazy jammies we haven't been able to keep our hands off each other because we both find adult footed pjs incredibly sexy.

The zip down backdoor flap really comes in handy when you want a fuzzy akward quickie.... just be careful for static electricity...... after a bout of vigorious lovemaking I nearly set the house on fire.
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Many housemaids and slaves dismissed.

funny review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-11

Funny product The Dipr the Ultimate Cookie Spoon (1, Red) The Dipr the Ultimate Cookie Spoon (1, Red) It was quite a horrifying summer. My days lounging by the sapphire embedded pool, or taking short jaunts on horseback were ever cut short by the somewhat unpleasant habit of consuming an Oreo cookie. Each afternoon, at 3:15, Augustus would promptly bring over a silver tray, upon which stood a neatly stacked pyramid of the famed cookie, along with a crystal tumbler of ice cold breast milk from one of the large mothers we kept for the purpose. I always hated having to remove my silk gloves and worse yet touching the milk and cookies so I could dunk them. After a while I had Augustus himself do the dunking, but he never could quite do it correctly given the surgical gloves I made him wear. Nor was I going to suffer the embarrassment of allowing him to place the cookie in my... more

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Works great!

fun review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Tampon Stealth Flask 5 Pack Tampon Stealth Flask 5 Pack When I'm sober I feel so empty and hollow, but thanks to this product I can now have a Bloody Mary any time I want, even while riding a white horse! more

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Just as fun drinking alone as it is with friends...

amusing review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Barbuzzo Spin-the-Shot Barbuzzo Spin-the-Shot I bought this for a friend, but he decided after I purchased it for him that he would be going into a 12 steps program. So, I was initially stuck with it. I played it a few times with friends, and I was probably the best ever at this game. I was just crushing it, and handing off drinks. I found that the more that I drank, the more fun and personable I was. I even made out with a friend of mine who I sort of had a thing for. Man, this product was great.

Then, I got laid off. And the spiral started downward. People stopped hanging out with me. So, I started to drink. I found that drinking alone was sort of boring, so I made a game out of it.

I put a shot into the spinning. Then, as it spins, I run around the table and pick a chair like I'm playing Duck Duck Goose. If I am in Chair A, I call myself Allen. If I sit in chair B, I am Brian. These are all the...
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A good press!

clever review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product DUCK CARCASS PRESS Free Shipping* [Matfer Bourgeat] DUCK CARCASS PRESS Free Shipping* [Matfer Bourgeat] For many years I have wanted a duck press but just couldn't pull the trigger. A credit card and 2/3rds of a bottle of Jack cured me of that and I couldn't be happier. My only complaint is with the directions. No where in the directions does it say that you should only press dead ducks. Had I known this (or known how loud pressing a live duck could be) I wouldn't now be staring at 3 years for animal cruelty. more

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Droppin' Cookies Like Droppin' Rhymes

funny review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Thunderbird TB-572 Cookie Dropping Machine, Up to 150 Cookies Per Minute Thunderbird TB-572 Cookie Dropping Machine, Up to 150 Cookies Per Minute Brace yourself, I'm the ace with glaze
I'm a bustin out gingerbread in your face
In any case, yo, I'm frostin' like a steeplechase
MC pastry chefs: about face
Now step off, I need room for my bake-off
My custom made biscuits are crisp
Yours are soft
I think you're stuck with misery, you gonna be history
Yo, I planned it out just like a patisserie
Snicker-doodle back up, or come a clapper
I plan to trap a Master Chef and kidnap' em
Phony, so skip the torrone
You and your cronies need to stick to macaroni
And hard rolls, cause you just a rookie
When it was time for chef school you just eatin the...
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These gave my life meaning!

fun review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Eddingtons Egg Cuber Eddingtons Egg Cuber For decades I have been wondering about the meaning of life. Religion, nah. Science, perhaps? The betterment of mankind, promising. Then it struck me! Square Eggs! My life will never be the same again. more

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Perfect for taking out your Russian Nesting Dolls quietly

rofltastic review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Deglon Meeting Knife Set, Stainless Steel Knives and Block, Set of 4 Deglon Meeting Knife Set, Stainless Steel Knives and Block, Set of 4 Title says it all, doesn't it? When one has the need to eliminate some nesting dolls, for whatever nefarious reason, nothing does the job like this set. A knife for each doll, almost, and you don't even have to waste time to remove from the back of one before taking out the next, and for the price, there is no way I could ever have 4 good knives for only just over $800....Don't wait, you will only regret not being able to organize one small part of a drawer ever so slightly better, while only giving up so much... more

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Matches my ever decreasing hand size

funny review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Deglon Meeting Knife Set, Stainless Steel Knives and Block, Set of 4 Deglon Meeting Knife Set, Stainless Steel Knives and Block, Set of 4 I love this knife set, as I have medical condition where my handgrip size changes in relation to the Fibonacci series. more

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Too realistic

fun review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product Westland Giftware Star Trek Magnetic Spock and Captain Kirk Salt and Pepper Shaker Set, 4-1/2-Inch Westland Giftware Star Trek Magnetic Spock and Captain Kirk Salt and Pepper Shaker Set, 4-1/2-Inch After Brad got me this set, I realized that they were a bit TOO true to life. The Kirk shaker kept wandering off in search of "lady shakers," insisting his salt crystals were real dilithium. I'd have recommended this as a great Father's Day gift, but I noticed over time that the body of the shaker droops, and the uniform now seems, well, a bit snug. I also was disappointed to learn that the hair piece does NOT come off as expected. One star off my marks for that.

Plus, the Spock shaker kept trying to rescue the Kirk shaker, even after it crawled in the microwave and was irradiated beyond repair. And while Spock's magnetic pull with Kirk is strong, it seems to much prefer the Uhura unit. I...
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Stop the presses! Your Duck Squisher Has Arrived!

hilarious review by in Kitchen & Dining, 2014-02-08

Funny product DUCK CARCASS PRESS Free Shipping* [Matfer Bourgeat] DUCK CARCASS PRESS Free Shipping* [Matfer Bourgeat] You know how it is. You have a fancy dinner party planned, guests are on the way, and here you are stuck with the same old boring wine selection. You need something that makes your party stand out from all the rest, something unique. That's where the Matfer Bourgeat Duck Carcass Press comes in. Your dinner guests will be raving about the warm cup of compressed duck carcass they enjoyed at your house for years to come. Nothing goes better with a cut of veal or Porterhouse steak than a tall glass of pulverized duck guts. You will be the talk of the town! People will say things like "You know who really squishes a mean duck? That Lenny guy over on 4th!" and "I hereby declare this to be the best compressed duck carcass ever!" Sure, you could just stick a duck in a Ziploc bag and run it over a few times with your car, but the Matfer Bourgeat method is much more civilized.

The secret is in the patented filtration system. The first filter removes the bigger...
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