If Chuck Norris, Prince and Bear Grylls had a child, it would be this pen...

funny review by in Office Products, 2014-03-11

Funny product Pilot G2 Retractable Premium Gel Ink Roller Ball Pens, Fine Point, Blue Ink, Dozen Box (31021) Pilot G2 Retractable Premium Gel Ink Roller Ball Pens, Fine Point, Blue Ink, Dozen Box (31021) The cure for cancer will undoubtedly be mapped out using this pen. It can and will double as a blow-gun should you ever find yourself in a Berlin back-alley without one. It is lighter than helium and can run a 4.2 40. It has a well adjusted sense of self and can write haikus without sounding out the number of syllables on its fingers. The rubber of this pen is made at processing plants with a 'zero' eco-footprint. If this pen were human, Alana De La Garza would be his girlfriend and Dos Equis would have to stop running those ads about that lesser man. The designer of this pen retired the second after he designed it having simultaneously reached his career pinnacle and achieved individual enlightenment at the exact same instant. If this pen ran Facebook, there would be no more design updates and it's daily Twitter posts would be original, ironic and hilarious. If I were stranded on an island and could only take two... more

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Great For more then just Arts and Crafts

fun review by in Office Products, 2014-03-08

Funny product Creative Arts by Charles Leonard Glitter, 16 oz. (1 Lb.) Bottle, Multi-Color (41100) Creative Arts by Charles Leonard Glitter, 16 oz. (1 Lb.) Bottle, Multi-Color (41100) So I wake up in the middle of the night in my 2 bedroom apartment. I find me roommate passed out face down on the wooden floor. I think nothing of it and go back to sleep. The next morning I wake up to go to work and there is a homeless guy asleep on my couch. My roommate woke up still drunk and had made friends with a bum. And this is the second time he let a stranger off the street just stroll in and pass out. Great.

You are probably thinking what does this have to do with my arts and crafting.

Well I bought this product and proceeded to cover everything my roommate owns in glitter. Every T shirt, every book, ever pair of shoes, his bed... I covered his entire life in glitter. He will have glitter in every crevice of...
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Better than banana slicers

hilarious review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product 2014 Bubble Calendar- A Poster Sized Wall Calendar with a Bubble to Pop Everyday 2014 Bubble Calendar- A Poster Sized Wall Calendar with a Bubble to Pop Everyday Have you ever woken up and immediately wanted to destroy something? Of course you have. Nary a day goes by that causing a bit of destruction wouldn't make the rest of the day so much easier to handle. I've woken up and smashed alarm clocks with hammers. It got expensive even replacing the cheapest alarm clocks daily. I've broken a few eggs (and enjoyed the ensuing omelettes that came with it). I even crashed my car into some medians on the morning commute, but after three times, my insurance company told me they frown upon such behaviors.

Then came this. Every morning I wake up and hold in my rage long enough to amble over to the 2014 bubble calendar and start my day off my...
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Worked Well, But Had To Return It

witty review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator I'm a private security contractor who recently had a stint working for a certain well-known Empire that had a need to track down three fugitives and their small ship. The competition on this contract was tough, and I was looking forward to using my Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator to really get the edge over the other contractors. Well, imagine my disappointment when the Imperial official in charge of the operation - a really difficult sort who always dresses in black just for dramatic flair - looked me right in the face and said: "No disintegrations!" All that time and effort put towards learning how to use my Disintegrator, totally ruined by the whims of a government bureaucrat! Fortunately, Amazon's returns policy was excellent, and I was able to return my... more

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Yes!

funny review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator In case anyone is wondering, it works great on bodies. Spend less time in prison and more time with the family. more

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Maybe turn it on from a distance with a stick or something...

fun review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator I'm a coyote that lives in the desert and ordered this product to help catch a pesky roadrunner in the area. It arrived well-packaged and after covering it in tumbleweeds I put a pile of roadrunner pellets under it, as is my custom. In a few moments the roadrunner showed up and started eating the pellets so I turned away and snickered while pointing my thumb in his general direction as if to say, "He has no idea he's about to be disintegrated," but when I did I failed to notice a lynch pin had slipped out and the disintegrator had swung directly over my head. When I turned around, the roadrunner had finished the pellets and was looking at me so I scoweled at him and pushed the "On" button while maintaining eye contact. I was immediately disintegrated into a pile of ashes with two eyes so I minused... more

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Great Product

amusing review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator This is a great disintegrator but it really should have come with a child-proof lock. We are going to miss little Byron so I can only give it 3 stars. more

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I can fit several women in this binder. Am making a "Woman Full of Binders" Halloween costume

clever review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032) Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032) Forget binders full of women. Women should be full of binders. These things are *delicious* with the right soy sauce. more

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Ode to a binder

funny review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032) Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032) I think that I shall never see
A binder lovelier than thee.
Full of women's names, the best
binder clutched against my breast;
This binder makes me feel like God,
When hiring gals for less-pay jobs,
A binder that my staff holds close,
Filled with women who can vote;
On whose careers we men have stood,
richer, `cause, well, `cause we could.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only Avery ...
made this really useful binder.

With apologies to Joyce Kilmer.
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Ideal for A Variety of Feminine Writing Tasks

fun review by in Office Products, 2014-02-08

Funny product BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen, 1.0mm, Black, 16ct (MSLP16-Blk) I love BIC Cristal for Her! The delicate shape and pretty pastel colors make it perfect for writing recipe cards, checks to my psychologist (I'm seeing him for a case of the hysterics), and tracking my monthly cycle. Obviously, I don't use it for vulgar endeavors like math or filling out a voter application, but BIC Cristal for Her is a lovely little writing utensil all the same. Ask your husband for some extra pocket money so you can buy one today! more

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