Appa plushie

funny review by in Toys & Games, 2015-08-07

Funny product Appa Plush 18" Appa Plush 18" This toy is amazingly fluffy. Like, so fluffy you could die. UNFATHOMABLY FLUFFY, IS ALL I'M SAYING. But everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

He does not respond to basic commands and has shown no propensity to flight, not even when told "yip yip". He isn't eating his food and can't swim. Due to his inability to perform such basic flying air bison functions, I dunno if it's worth spending more than $20 on.

UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE AVATAR. OMG AVATAR.
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Realism at its finest.

fun review by in Toys & Games, 2014-12-27

Funny product Brooklyn Peddler 4-Tone Pinewood Train Whistle Brooklyn Peddler 4-Tone Pinewood Train Whistle You're standing on a steam-filled platform, your dearest love in your arms weeping, swearing she will return to you, swearing time will not erase the love that has grown and that one day, one day she will come back. You close your eyes and embrace - a train whistle blows. You open your eyes, and it turns out you dozed off watching sports center again, and your 5 year old has picked up his 4 tone pinewood train whistle and is blowing for all he's worth.

Dang this thing sounds real.
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This ship can't even go to lightspeed

hilarious review by in Toys & Games, 2014-04-25

Funny product LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 7965 LEGO Star Wars Millennium Falcon 7965 Boy, can I tell you what a disappointment this thing is. First off, it's tiny, I could never fit in it, much less my Wookie copilot. You see, my Wookie friend and I were looking for a replacement; our old ship has had some problems. When he saw how small this ship is, he almost tore my arms off. I make my living off of smuggling goods for my boss in the Hutt Cartel. I could never smuggle anything in that! There is no way this thing could outrun an Imperial Star Destroyer. It couldn't even make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs like my old ship can. I won't even try lightspeed in this joke of a ship. If you make your living for being fast, keep looking. more

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Great for my kids but

witty review by in Toys & Games, 2014-04-18

Funny product Raskulls 3-D Helmet with Shock Absorbing EPS Inner Shell, in Puppy Raskulls 3-D Helmet with Shock Absorbing EPS Inner Shell, in Puppy This helmet is awesome, it looks styling and my kids love wearing it... a little too much I might add, to the point I've gotten calls from the special education center at their elementary school questioning if they needed help.

But that's not my main gripe with this. I'm jealous of that little bastard wearing that helmet, I want one myself, do these come in adult sizes?
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Frightened by this disc

funny review by in Toys & Games, 2014-04-12

Funny product Aerobie Epic Golf Disc (Color May Vary) Aerobie Epic Golf Disc (Color May Vary) I never thought I'd be here quivering, burrowed in the blackest crevice of my dwelling, frazzling with fright and scribbling this review. "The Aerobie Epic is just a myth," I'd heard from various voices before. But according to believers' claims, this disc could soar through time and space with the ravishing finesse of a raving gypsy's hips. Cautious whispers on the course warned of saucers spewing forth dark magic vortexes within the violent whirlwinds of a vicious "thumber" drive. I scoffed at such fanciful tales of plastic acrobatics and occultist wind sails. Superstitions cannot persuade me; I am a man of science, you see! But the same unyielding curiosity that brought you to this page led me to purchase one and see, just in case.

Thirty-seven suns have since succumbed to the horizon. My perception of this universe, and all the laws that make it one, has transformed irreversibly, I fear to say. The only scientific explanation for the flight...
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Worst birthday ever

fun review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product 72 Chinese Finger Traps 72 Chinese Finger Traps Please be extremely careful with these. I got one for my daughter's fifth birthday. I thought it would be fun gag. That's how they market it. Leanne had no idea what it was. So I told her to stick her fingers in it--and if I could take back those words, believe me, I would. But she did it. Then she tried to pull her fingers out, and they wouldn't come. At first it seemed funny. God help me, I think I even laughed. But then she really couldn't get them out. I tried to pull them out for her, but the thing with this contraption is, the harder you pull, the tighter it squeezes. The Chinese are an ingenious people. I tried looking for the instructions but I couldn't find them anywhere. So I tried pulling even harder, but that thing clung to her tiny fingers like the cold grip of death. So now I really began to panic, and I did what I think any parent would do. I got a hacksaw. Bad call, in... more

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FINALLY!

amusing review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Design Sense Generic Weener Kleener Soap Design Sense Generic Weener Kleener Soap Pros: This is a hit at the bath house, we play ring toss for hours!

Cons: Waaay too big, it keeps falling off and retrieving it causes a train 8 guys deep.

Oh, and it tastes gross.
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Not good at math

clever review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Large Vinyl Gender Neutral Asian Large Vinyl Gender Neutral Asian I bought this to tutor my children in advanced mathematics but this is actually an inanimate doll and not an Asian child. Would not do business with again more

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Much better than Gender Specific Asian

funny review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Large Vinyl Gender Neutral Asian Large Vinyl Gender Neutral Asian I ordered this doll for my niece after a disastrous Christmas with the Gender Specific Asian Doll. Gender neutrality is so much better! Tiny latex genitalia are just traumatic, I don't care what anyone says. more

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Barvo!

fun review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Fake Vomite, Puke, Barf Fake Vomite, Puke, Barf As any serious student of barf will tell you, it's been a dry decade. Since the frothy days of the late 70's, the puke movement has been, at best, stagnant. To be honest, I haven't seen anything that made me want to hurl in 15 years. Until now.

It may be too soon to call it a renaissance, but I believe we are witnessing the emergence of a major new talent in BWacky, and his cleverly titled "Fake Vomite, Puke, Barf" is the real thing (not the "real thing" mind you, but a brilliant facsimile) that left this critic heaving.

Coming out of seemingly nowhere, this Picasso of peristalsis puts it all on the floor. His Pollack-like pallet combines rich creams, jarring browns, and gut-churning greens. He's clearly experimenting with texture as well--swirling, chunky, oozy, hints of coagulation--it's all in there. Your eye is pulled in every direction. Like Dali, he uses juxtaposition to pose fundamental questions-- What did...
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Dangerous Product

rofltastic review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product The Daddle By Cashel The Daddle By Cashel At first I thought this product was wonderful, but oh how things change. Don't be deceived by the joyful picture, this is a hazardous product that should not be sold without severe warning. After a long day of being ridden by my children, I was grazing on some nearby greens when my daughter dropped a dish on the ground. It broke and the noise of it spooked me, causing me to rear back and kick my son in the head. Now he talks with a speech impediment and has a wonky eye. I haven't taken the Daddle off in 3 weeks because I can't face the reality of what I've done. My wife won't speak to me, I have badly infected rug burn... more

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Not Appropriate For Dressage!

funny review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product The Daddle By Cashel The Daddle By Cashel Please note that this Daddle is Western Style and will not be appropriate for those trained in the English Father Riding Method whereby one holds a rein in each hand and posts the trot. If you are looking forward to father jumping, father fox hunting, father polo or daddy dressage you will not be able to use this Daddle. Western Daddle riders hold the reins with one hand, and sit the trot. The pommel or horn on this Daddle is meant to hold a lariat which is useful when roping cattle or other competing or unruly fathers. more

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In response to those naysayers

fun review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product AVENGING NARWHAL PLAYSET AVENGING NARWHAL PLAYSET Some question the value and realism behind this toy. I feel that they do not completely comprehend the history of the AVENGING NARWHAL, and his profound significance.
The AVENGING NARWHAL does not kill in vain. He is motivated by the slaughter of his family, in a heartless bloodbath, by the Penguin Cabal--supported by the all too guilty Baby Seal League. Driven by this tragedy, the AVENGING NARWHAL is compelled to pursue all the vicious enemies that might have led to the destruction of his pod. This, no doubt, includes Koalas Inc., a treacherous and ambitious corporation that moved their ill deeds to the seas when the boon of eucalyptus could no longer satisfy their greedy little fingers. Their CEO, Koala Bear, is a feature of this dynamic, chilling, and important play set.
No educational value? I would say that it tells a story of true...
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Fun toy but be careful!

hilarious review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product AVENGING NARWHAL PLAYSET AVENGING NARWHAL PLAYSET I noticed the safety warning on the front of the box about the "choking hazard," and I was very careful not to put this toy in my mouth, as much as I wanted to. However what this product SHOULD warn you about is the "impaling hazard." I was playing a little too roughly with the Avenging Narwhal and drove the magical ice tusk right through my xiphoid process. I guess you get the last laugh, Avenging Narwhal. more

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Frightened by this disc

witty review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Aerobie Epic Golf Disc (Color May Vary) Aerobie Epic Golf Disc (Color May Vary) I never thought I'd be here quivering, burrowed in the blackest crevice of my dwelling, frazzling with fright and scribbling this review. "The Aerobie Epic is just a myth," I'd heard from various voices before. But according to believers' claims, this disc could soar through time and space with the ravishing finesse of a raving gypsy's hips. Cautious whispers on the course warned of saucers spewing forth dark magic vortexes within the violent whirlwinds of a vicious "thumber" drive. I scoffed at such fanciful tales of plastic acrobatics and occultist wind sails. Superstitions cannot persuade me; I am a man of science, you see! But the same unyielding curiosity that brought you to this page led me to purchase one and see, just in case.

Thirty-seven suns have since succumbed to the horizon. My perception of this universe, and all the laws that make it one, has transformed irreversibly, I fear to say. The only scientific explanation for the flight...
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Dont regret a thing.

funny review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Narwhalicorn "Half Unicorn - Half Narwhal" (Majestic and Bendable) Narwhalicorn "Half Unicorn - Half Narwhal" (Majestic and Bendable) So me and my best friend have a debate going on whether narwhals are real or not. I'm trying to presude her that they are real but she refuses. She says that a narwhal was a mythical creature (cross between a whale and unicorn) and they were made up by the CIA to discourage swimming in the artic. So when i found this i thought it would be the prefect gift for her. Needless to say, she loved it although she still doesnt believe in narwhals T.T more

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I've got underwear on my hands...

fun review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Handerpants Underwear Gloves Handerpants Underwear Gloves How many times have you had the dilemma
of not being able to find a clean pair of
skivvies to fashion your fingerless gloves from?
These underwear gloves by Handerpants
can guarantee you skid-mark free business
every time you need the security of an elastic
banded glove experience. Now get back to work!
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Maybe...and maybe not

amusing review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Schrodinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker Schrodinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker This is the perfect gift to give yourself or a co-worker. Asked a simple yes or no question from the boss, such as "Will the report be done on time?" or "Will you be able to cover the books for me while I'm away?" the box legitimates "yes...and no" answers.

"Hang on, let me consult Schrodinger's Cat Executive Box" for that answer. "Aha! See? It says the answer is both yes, and no. That is, right now, knowing nothing other than your question, the answer could be either yes or no. But when we actually get to that point, we'll know whether it actually was yes, or...
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Bacon the most of it

clever review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product BACON shaped themed Adhesive Bandages BACON shaped themed Adhesive Bandages Looking to add a little sizzle to your next flesh wound? Tired of the same boaring bandages?

Not to pork fun at an injury, but nothing strips the pain away like meating friends out dressed like this. "That's sow wrong, George!" they squeal. But fat chance they let such a pig idea go. In fact, they often rip it off quickly--after giving me the cold shoulder.

Perhaps it's time to climb out of this filthy pig pun. I can't help it: I ham what I ham.
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Maybe...and maybe not

funny review by in Toys & Games, 2014-02-08

Funny product Schrodinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker Schrodinger's Cat Executive Decision Maker This is the perfect gift to give yourself or a co-worker. Asked a simple yes or no question from the boss, such as "Will the report be done on time?" or "Will you be able to cover the books for me while I'm away?" the box legitimates "yes...and no" answers.

"Hang on, let me consult Schrodinger's Cat Executive Box" for that answer. "Aha! See? It says the answer is both yes, and no. That is, right now, knowing nothing other than your question, the answer could be either yes or no. But when we actually get to that point, we'll know whether it actually was yes, or...
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